Instant vs Delayed Gratification
Suffer Now, Enjoy Later
When I was young, I'm talking like primary school days,
They used to give us homework to do, especially over the weekend or when we had Christmas or Easter holidays,
And I used to be a good kid and get good grades and all of that, but one thing I didn't do was my homework,
I used to always leave it literally for the last day of the holidays,
And I always regretted it,
Once time I remember I had a birthday party,
A kid in my class invited me to his 10th birthday party,
And so my Mum is taking me there and naturally she asks me;
''Soo, are you excited for the party?''
And my reply kinda shocked her,
I replied, ''Not really, I'm thinking about that essay I have to do for tomorrow, I can't think of anything else.''
Thank God she wasn't mad at me or anything, she just said,
''Now just forget about it, we'll do it later, for now just enjoy yourself.''
In case you haven't realized yet, I was always leaving my work for the final moments before submitting it,
I was always choosing to 'enjoy' the now by playing video games (usually Minecraft) or watching YouTube than actually sit down, face my work and do a favor for my future self.
I was prioritizing the now over the later,
I was choosing instant gratification over delayed gratification.
Little did I know that I was just discovering a cornerstone of self-improvement, actually it's what all of self-improvement comes down to;
The good now & bad later.
Or.
The hard now & good later.
Instant vs Delayed Gratification
Instant gratification is when you do something that feels good right now but you know has consequences in the future,
It's like eating sweets, binging YouTube or Netflix or playing video games.
Delayed gratification is when you do something hard now but you know that it will be rewarded in the future.
Delaying gratification is when you make a home-cooked meal instead of ordering out, it's when you choose to read a book instead of waste time scrolling relationship reels on your phone wishing it was you. And it's also when you finish your homework in the first week so you can enjoy the rest of your holidays worry free.
Why Don't We Always Delay Gratification?
'Oh it's just instant vs delayed gratification, easy, just do hard things now then.'
Well it's not that easy, remember, we are humans,
Humans are flawed in many ways, and discipline is one of them,
Our discipline can be skewed by many things including video games, junk food, sugar, women, alcohol, pleasure etc, you get the point.
We know that delaying gratification is the good thing to do, we know we shouldn't eat sugar because it's bad for us yet we still do it because it feels good.
Occasionally we do it as an emotional cope as well, but that is a conversation for another day.
We do things we know are bad for us for 2 reasons;
- It's easy to do, or at least easier than the other option
- Because it gives us some sort of reward/good feeling in the moment
It actually takes a lot of effort to delay gratification because it's such a natural desire,
We want things right now, we want to be rewarded right now, so going against that is hard.
The Irony of Delaying Gratification
This is something I noticed which is actually really interesting,
When you can differentiate between the two, either delayed or instant you start to make better choices because you'll be conscious,
You'll have that guilt that you picked instant pleasure over long-term gains, and that guilt is actually a good thing, it tells you that you did something wrong.
While I get that guilt, in and of itself is not a good emotion to feel, but using it in this way is actually beneficial for us to not pick the wrong option again.
Now, and I call this the irony of delaying gratification,
When you do a good action, something that will reward you in the future you actually feel good doing it, that's why it's ironic, it's not even that bad in the moment,
Just the knowledge that you're going to experience the fruits of your labor makes the moment enjoyable.
And because doing the 'hard things' is hard, it means that we worked for our reward, so you'll feel satisfied after,
Imagine you did nothing and you got a reward for it, you'll feel nothing for the reward, you'll be just like 'ughh, whatever, so what?'
But delaying gratification makes it so you feel a sense of achievement after you do the right action, it's your brain showing you that what you did was good, and it's encouraging you to do more of it.
It's like when you worked hard on something and then your friend pats you on the back, or hands you a protein bar, or hypes you up.
The Brain
The brain is very lazy, it will look for the easiest way to do EVERYTHING, that's why we feel such a strong pull to do the bad actions even though we know they're not good for us.
The brain doesn't want to experience discomfort, unfortunately, for growth to happen there MUST be some sort of discomfort.
In fact I can attribute the periods in which I made the most progress in life was when I was pushing myself the hardest, actively seeking discomfort, pushing myself close to tears,
And what I can say is that, there is nothing like the euphoric feeling you get afterwards.
That proudness you feel for yourself (which is actually one of the best and only ways to become more confident) is like nothing else, you have to feel it to understand what I'm saying,
It's like you just grew 2 inches taller, it's like Mum made your favorite meal, or like you got the best grade in class. A deep satisfaction that is 100% natural and good for you.
So stop listening to your brain so much,
A dr*g addict listens to his brain,
David Goggins doesn't.
Summary : Instant vs Delayed Gratification
- Instant vs delayed gratification is the corner stone of self-improvement, do hard things now to enjoy the fruits of your labor later on
- The brain is lazy, is doesn't want discomfort
- Unfortunately for the brain no growth happens without discomfort
- Actively seek doing the hard things, always push yourself, that's how you grow
- If you're never uncomfortable you never grow
